You get what you need when you need it...

This last week has been a hard one for me. There have been a few incidences at work that have left me with a strong urge to, well, um quit. Mostly they involve a parent of one of my students and the student. I can honestly say that I have put the student and what is best for them first at all times this year but the parent and the student do not agree. I have a past history with this parent as I taught this student for 4 years. In conversation, she quickly becomes upset and begins to belittle, be condescending, rude and use four letter words. As she tends to become very personal, I will admit my feelings get hurt. And I am also a little scared of her because about 3 1/2 years ago she called my superintendent and accused me falsely of some horrible things. I had to defend myself and my principal and vice principal had to get involved. All while I was pregnant. Yeah, lots of tears and ice cream. I had hoped to get through the year with only one confrontation and since we had one in November I was hoping for a good year. Yeah, nope. By the time she was through with me on Monday I was sure I didn't know how to do my job. (Doesn't help that I don't usually work Mondays and was a little resentful to be called in to work for the day.) Tuesday didn't get any better. Second phone call, worse than the first, at 9:15 am. Afterwards I walked into my office and cried. One of the student support staff (SSA) let herself into my office and gave me a hug. She had listened to my side of the conversation and was able to tell that it hadn't been a pretty conversation. She said some very nice things, bolstered me up so that I could face the rest of the day. As Emily ran in to my room with my mom and Collin, at lunchtime, I realized that the Lord was giving me the boost to make it through the day. Emily ran in, told me she loved me, gave me a hug and kiss, then asked where the blocks were. I really do love her. My mom and Landon (when he arrived to pick up the kids) sat and listened as I cried and told them about my morning. Minutes after they left one of my students became angry when I told him he wasn't allowed to punch another student, even though they are friends and were "just playing." He came unglued on me (which is a little scary since he is 6' 3" and quite strong.) He started swearing at me but sat in the chair I had directed him to. He wouldn't follow the behaviour plan though so I had to go and get the vice principal. He pushed his chair over but did go to the office. Once he had calmed down he came back and apologized. I was drained. I just wanted to curl up in a ball and never wake up. All I could think about was how I was failing to accomplish what my mandate was. Programs haven't been written. There are days that I barely keep my head above the water. My poor children and husband. I was not good company Tuesday night. Then came Wednesday. I was drained. The day went well until the plan put in place for this student (with the crazy mother) fell apart. So I ended up in with the vice principal trying to problem solve again. Decision was made to have a meeting with the mom next week. (I won't even talk about how that is making me feel.) The vice principal is going to run the meeting but still.... I asked if maybe I could be present over a teleconference. Nope. I was looking forward to going home but nope, staff meeting. I wanted to scream. Then I realized it wasn't really a staff meeting. It was a goodbye party for three staff members who were leaving. One to another school district, one is going home to Australia, and the other was retiring. The person retiring was the SSA who had comforted me. She has had my back all year. Helpful and caring to everyone. I am really going to miss her. As I stood against the wall, really not feeling apart of anything and wanting to be home, Lorraine stood to give her farewell "speech." She talked about the last 29 years that she has worked in the school system, assisting students with special needs. She talked about all the people she had me. And then she turned to me. She thanked me for coming to Brooks and making her last semester here great. She told everyone in the room how lucky they all were because of the energy, enthusiasm and ideas I brought to our staff. I bawled. A lot. Afterwards at least 3 staff came to let me know that they appreciated me. I was so humbled. I realized that when we are at our lowest of lows, the Lord is always there for us. He knows what we need. I am grateful to those people who followed the prompting and have literally changed my life. I know that no matter what is thrown at me, by people who don't think that I am doing enough, that there are people that believe that I am.

**The reason I changed the colour scheme on my blog to this bright colour with flowers is because I think at this time of year we all need a colour pick me up. January needs a little more colour.**